HOME Tagboard Portfolio Twitter Facebook Blogskins


Monday, November 15, 2010 0 Comments

Everyday have been so tiring for me. Work & only work. Waking up early in the morning make me hate working but luckily, time pass damn fast when im in work which is a good sign.

So sad for im the only child working & both my elder & younger sisters are enjoying their sleep when my alarm clock rings. Have been having headaches for the past 1 week. Im allergy to weekdays? I dont see any problem on weekends. Whats fucking wrong with my brain? Is there a growth or something?

Im gonna off my contacts lens for the next 3 days for lasik assessment. Im turning in a geek & i hate glasses! Im gonna be so broke after lasik! Wanna sign up for driving classes after lasik! Oh damn, there goes my money again!

I think i will need to keep all my credit/debit/ATM card for the next 3-6 months to prevent myself from spending anymore money. Hopefully i could pay by installment so that i will not feel so bad about spending so much. No shopping for the next 3-6 months makes me pretty sad! I dont know if i could resist all temptation or not. Ding dang dong!

I feel so sad right now! I thought i wanna ask my parents to just help me out alittle with the lasik cost, but on a second thought, i knew its not gonna happen just like 1yr back, i asked if they could help out in the payment of my school. And true enough, i was perfectly right! All i got was some negative comments saying that i would be blind & so on.

They always say i never discuss stuff before i execute the plan, but when i discuss, the outcome will always be the same. So why should i when i did tried, but all i got was scoldings & negative comments? I still dont know what they want!

Why am i always the one who got rejected whenever i wanted to do something but not my siblings? I hate my life! I hate the fact that i can depend on no one but myself for everything. In my life, im always alone! Ever since i was young, when i need or wants something, my parents will always reject or disapprove them all & what i got was just scoldings.

Once bitten twice shy, therefore i promise myself to just keep my mouth shut from there onwards. Nobody knows what i want & what i need. I promise myself that i would work hard in the future & be independent enough to pamper myself since nobody pamper me. I really hate my life sometimes.

I admit that i dont confess my heartfelt feelings out even to my best friend cos im so not used to it. I dont know how to start, so i would rather suffer myself and just lock all the feelings in my heart.

Can i just die & vanish from the world?

If given a chance, i wish i could cos there is nothing in the world which would worth me living for!